Thursday, January 21, 2010

So...I'm a mom.

I have been a mom for a while now. Obviously, not as long as my mom has been a mom...but well over a year. (*cue snickers from moms who have been in this game for 13+ years!)

I am trying to remember when I started to consider myself a mom. I don't think it was when I found out I was pregnant.

It might have been when I had my first ultrasound or found out the sex of my baby girl.

Or, shoot, it might have even been when Grace arrived on that snowy December evening.

I suppose it doesn't really matter.

What matters to me is when I became proud to be a mom.

When I was a single gal, doing the single gal thing, I couldn't relate to moms. The way they always seemed so distracted; I could barely have a conversation with a friend if her kid was in the room! And forget about trying to play cards or anything like that! Then there was the whole snot-wiping, spit-swapping, food-sharing disgustingness that I witnessed around formerly normal women. It would gross me out to no end to watch a mom share a straw with her slobbery child, or witness her lick her finger and try to wipe a foreign substance off her child's face. Gross.

If only I had known then what I know now!

I said all the politically correct things. "Being a mom is the hardest job." "Being a stay-at-home mom is just as hard as going to work every day." "All children are beautiful." "All pregnant women are beautiful." Blah, blah, blah.

If I'm being honest with myself, now, I didn't really believe those things back then.

However, there came a point somewhere in the arrival of Baby Grace where I drank the punch. I bought in to being a mom and all of it's glory 200%.

With that said, though, I think I have some rather unique takes on certain socially accepted "givens" about being a mom. Here are a few:

1. Being a mom is not hard. It can't be compared to work because it's not work. It's an honor. It's a huge responsibility, but being a mom is not hard.

2. Being a role-model is the hardest thing about being a parent. I have told several people that I am not worried about my relationship with my daughter. We will be fine. What I worry about is her watching how I relate to other people and potentially learning hurtful things in that way. Can you honestly say that every reaction you have throughout your day is positive?

3. There are no sacrifices when it comes to being a parent. It's just the way things are. You do what you have to do to provide for your family, and you don't look back. They are not sacrifices, it's just the way things are.

The third point goes back to point one - it's an honor to be a parent. Every decision you make, whether you prefer one choice over another, as long as you are taking care of your child it is not a sacrifice.

I'll get off my soap box now.

I have learned a lot in the last year and I continue to learn and grow. I have my crazy ideas about how things work, but I'm always open to new and interesting ways to do things or look at things. I hope this blog becomes a place to explore what it is like to be a mom, be a wife, be a career woman, and be a friend.

-Grace's Mom

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